THE #JUSTMEN CHALLENGE
"The greatest gift we can give our woman and children
is to go on our own journey to become better men."
Choose a program and declare it. Go on a journey. Come back and share on November 15th
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To those men that saw the production #JustMen at the Baxter theatre, who were moved and inspired to take a stand against the epidemic of gender based violence and to be better men, this challenge is for you. At the end of the show we asked the men to stay behind so that we could have a discussion about what we need to do to make a difference? Contrary to what most men assumed our declarations, criticisms of other men, institutions and the education system even our solutions are not ultimately going to make a difference. In the final words of the production it was identified that “we as men are (for the most part) disconnected from ourselves, we need to learn to deal with our own pain and we need to learn to love ourselves.”
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As men we are not always equipped to process our pain and stresses which, as a result, can manifests as anger, depression, emotional disconnection or addiction. The overwhelming insight that came through this project was that if we really want to change our collective culture as men we need to be willing to transform ourselves first. So we identified three essential steps that all men need to take to become the change we wish to see.
1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
We need to acknowledge our own behaviour, both active and passive, that enables the culture of unhealthy masculinity and gender based violence. In doing this we can take responsibility for what we want to change in ourselves and around us.
2. EMBARK ON OUR OWN JOURNEY
On its own, the decision to be a better man doesn't make a better man, it requires a journey of reflection and healing for us to address our patriarchal conditioning, socialisation and engrained behaviour. Every man needs to embark on a journey to face himself and deal with his own perceptions and wounds. It does not mean that anything is wrong with us. A journey takes time and requires a safe space, support and guidance that allows men to do the inner work.
3.SHARE WITH OTHERS
Once a man has been on his own journey his purpose is then to share this with other men. His work in being a better man is incomplete without sharing what he got and passing it on to other men.
We have therefore created the #JUSTMEN CHALLENGE where we are calling on all men, young and old, to embark on their own personal journey of transformation for the next three months till the middle of November and then to come back and share what they experienced in the #JustMen FaceBook group. This is our opportunity to be the change that we wish to see in our families, our communities and in our country and to spread it to others.
The purpose of the #JustMen challenge is to promote the value of creating safe spaces for men that fosters personal healing, encourages healthy masculinity and our raises gender awareness to deal with the root cause of why men participate in or passively enable gender based violence.
What the #JustMen Challenge entails:
STEP 1: Choose a program and declare it- We have chosen the most powerful and effective men’s and gender programs/events in Cape Town. These programs are reputable and highly effective in creating safe group spaces for participants to do life-changing process work. It is important that this work happens in a group, not just in one on one therapies and counselling, as it is about transforming the way we share, support and listen to each other. Once you have chosen a event, declare which program or workshop you are doing in the #JustMen Facebook group. If you have not joined our Facebook group then do so now and click here. While some of the programs are focused for men only, there are two programs that woman can participate in as well and its an amazing space for gender healing and reconciliation.
STEP 2: Go on a journey and allow yourself time to process. This is an opportunity to speak and be heard, to address those experiences and behaviours that we, as men, typically never get to speak about. It is a powerful opportunity to experience the support of a safe group, learning support and connect with yourself and others.
STEP 3: Come back and share- On November 15th. We invite you all to come back and share in the Facebook group what you experienced, what you got and what has changed in your life. This is your opportunity to share your story and make a difference for other men.
Choose a program and declare it. Go on a journey. Come back and share on November 15th
Below are the Cape Town based events/programs that we have selected. The programs have varying focuses, intensities, duration and costs to suit everyone. It is an opportunity to get a breakthrough in your life and to truly become a better man. If you have any questions about the challenge or have any programs or events that you would like to include please inbox me on FaceBook or email me using the ref: #JustMen.
1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
We need to acknowledge our own behaviour, both active and passive, that enables the culture of unhealthy masculinity and gender based violence. In doing this we can take responsibility for what we want to change in ourselves and around us.
2. EMBARK ON OUR OWN JOURNEY
On its own, the decision to be a better man doesn't make a better man, it requires a journey of reflection and healing for us to address our patriarchal conditioning, socialisation and engrained behaviour. Every man needs to embark on a journey to face himself and deal with his own perceptions and wounds. It does not mean that anything is wrong with us. A journey takes time and requires a safe space, support and guidance that allows men to do the inner work.
3.SHARE WITH OTHERS
Once a man has been on his own journey his purpose is then to share this with other men. His work in being a better man is incomplete without sharing what he got and passing it on to other men.
We have therefore created the #JUSTMEN CHALLENGE where we are calling on all men, young and old, to embark on their own personal journey of transformation for the next three months till the middle of November and then to come back and share what they experienced in the #JustMen FaceBook group. This is our opportunity to be the change that we wish to see in our families, our communities and in our country and to spread it to others.
The purpose of the #JustMen challenge is to promote the value of creating safe spaces for men that fosters personal healing, encourages healthy masculinity and our raises gender awareness to deal with the root cause of why men participate in or passively enable gender based violence.
What the #JustMen Challenge entails:
STEP 1: Choose a program and declare it- We have chosen the most powerful and effective men’s and gender programs/events in Cape Town. These programs are reputable and highly effective in creating safe group spaces for participants to do life-changing process work. It is important that this work happens in a group, not just in one on one therapies and counselling, as it is about transforming the way we share, support and listen to each other. Once you have chosen a event, declare which program or workshop you are doing in the #JustMen Facebook group. If you have not joined our Facebook group then do so now and click here. While some of the programs are focused for men only, there are two programs that woman can participate in as well and its an amazing space for gender healing and reconciliation.
STEP 2: Go on a journey and allow yourself time to process. This is an opportunity to speak and be heard, to address those experiences and behaviours that we, as men, typically never get to speak about. It is a powerful opportunity to experience the support of a safe group, learning support and connect with yourself and others.
STEP 3: Come back and share- On November 15th. We invite you all to come back and share in the Facebook group what you experienced, what you got and what has changed in your life. This is your opportunity to share your story and make a difference for other men.
Choose a program and declare it. Go on a journey. Come back and share on November 15th
Below are the Cape Town based events/programs that we have selected. The programs have varying focuses, intensities, duration and costs to suit everyone. It is an opportunity to get a breakthrough in your life and to truly become a better man. If you have any questions about the challenge or have any programs or events that you would like to include please inbox me on FaceBook or email me using the ref: #JustMen.
Events/Programs 2018
New Warrior Training Adventure
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IMBADU Men’s Project- 1/2 Day Workshop
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Imbadu is a half day workshop that provides a space of silence for men to “visit themselves” and get in touch with yourself as different issues related to your masculinity are raised. Vulnerability and compassion are fostered while connecting with yourself and others. It’s a process of learning to listen with the heart – to your own experience, to others’ experiences; and to the divine within all of us. Imbadu derives from the Xhosa tradition and refers to men gathering around the kraal, addressing issues that concern them. We see ourselves as men in this way, addressing issues around men and masculinity (or masculinities) – not in an exclusive or dominatory way, but with the aim of growing more and more into men who are compassionate, being able to relate, connect with other men, women, children, nature and God in a deep, meaningful, nonviolent and life-giving way. Please note that the program is open to those of any faith as well as those not subscribing to any faith. All programs have a limited intake so do not hesitate to book right now!
Men Stopping Violence Group MSVG
AUG - NOV 2018
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Presented by FAMSA
DATES: AUG - NOV 2018 (Thurs 5pm- 7pm ) 12 Session Program (4 Sessions per Month x 3) COST: R100 per session VENUE: FAMSA, 9 Bowden Road, Observatory. CONTACT: Lesley Thomas Cell: 082 700 5470 BOOKING: Lynette Daniels | Intake Officer For Appointments: 021 447 0170 Email: intake@famsawc.co.za Please use #JustMen MSVG in your subject line as Ref. ABOUT This group session program is for men who recognise that they are abusive (physically, emotionally, financially or verbally) towards their intimate partners and families. This is arguably one of the most successful and affordable programs available in Cape Town for men who are willing to address their behaviour and heal themselves. These men have often themselves been the victims of abuse and violence in their developing years and this is an opportunity to transform that. The objective of the MSVG is to promote safety, both for the partners and families of the men and for the men themselves, through a process in which they are led to explore the causes of their behaviour and to deal with those causes consistently with their taking responsibility for their actions. |
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Lesley Thomas is an extraordinary men's facilitator with a remarkable track record for transforming men's lives and he is one of the main advisors to the #JustMen project. As with any healing process, admitting we have a problem is the first essential step. Are you willing to do what is right for you and for those around you? Get the help you need, you have support.
Presented by GenderWorks (For Men and Woman)
DATE: 31 August – 2 Sept. (Friday, 31st 1pm – 5pm; 1st & 2nd 9am – 5pm.) VENUE: St Luke’s Hospice, Kenilworth. COST: R1000 pp. Minimum donation of R500. Limited bursaries available. CONTACT: genderworks@iafrica.com for more info Please use #JustMen Geri in your subject line as Ref. WEB INFO: www.genderworks.org.za This is a phenomenal workshop for men and woman. Gender Equity & Reconciliation workshops create safe-enough spaces bringing men and women together to share their stories of gender wounding and injustice and to break through to healing experiences. Through skillful and creative collaboration, participants gain insights from this process that contribute directly to addressing and transforming gender relations. New relational skills and a culture of deep respect and integrity between the sexes are fostered, fueled by heightened mutual awareness of the gender conditioning experienced by both women and men in our society. All programs have a limited intake so do not hesitate to book right now!
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Alternative to Violence Program- A.V.P
AUG 17 & 18/ SEPT 14th & 15th/ OCT 17 & 18
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Presented by A.V.P. Cape (For Men and Woman)
BOOKINGS: Lesley Thomas on this email or send an sms to 082 700 5470 Please use #JustMen AVP in your subject line as ref. BASIC WORKSHOP (14 hours) DATE: 17th and 18th August. TIMES: Friday 9am-4pm, Sat 9am-3pm. VENUE: Khayelitsha (Learn to Earn https://learntoearn.org.za) COST: R200 pp ADVANCED WORKSHOP (14 Hours) DATE: 14th & 15th September. TIMES: Friday 9am-4pm and Sat 9am-3pm VENUE: Mitchells Plain COST: R200 pp BASIC WORKSHOP (14 Hours) DATE: 26th & 27th OCT TIMES: Friday 9am-4pm and Sat 9am-3pm VENUE: Mowbray (QPC) COST: R200 pp |
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A.V.P. is one of the most successful and accessible worldwide program for transforming aggression, interrupting violence and resolving conflict. This program is run for men and woman in prisons and communities around the world. We have all at some point found ourselves in conflict situations whether its in our homes or out on the street where an aggressive response is the only reaction we are familiar with. As South African men, in particular, we often find ourselves encountering or witnessing conflict situations where we would want to mediate and resolve matters in a peaceful way. The A.V.P. provides you with the skills to deal with and defuse conflict powerfully and engage a constructive resolution. As part of the #JustMen challenge, these workshops in terms of locations are also designed give you an opportunity to interact with men from different cultures and backgrounds, get out of your comfort zone and experience a different environment. For participants who have completed the Basic and Advanced workshops there is an opportunity (TFT Training for Teachers) to train up as a facilitator and be part of making this work available to others. If you are a man wanting to make a difference in ending Gender Based Violence and resolving the cycle of aggression in any situation this is a profound opportunity to bring about that change. All programs have a limited intake so do not hesitate to book right now!